This is quite a long post and hope you can bear to read up to the bottom. I have four kids and this topic is quite important to me as I'm dealing some issue of this kind.What's your stand on the issue of sibling rivalry? I am an only daughter but I do have step brothers and sisters. I don't have any bad itch about that and I treat them like my own and even vice versa. Growing up, I don't felt the issue of jealousy or even sibling rivalry as what you call it in some point. I learned to accept the situation for what it is when I was young in the most positive thoughts. I even understand why male are most favorable among the siblings and we even doctrine about that issue at a very young age, but then again it's not a big deal to me.
When given a chance to have and raise my own kids, I put an emphasis that they should be given both equal attention in all aspect as the proper way. My first and second kid are only nine months apart. They are close to each other as I may say so until this time, no problem at all is the right word to be exact. I even asked by my collegues and friends before about the issue and I keep mum about it as I don't know how to interact or reply to their question. I'm not dealing with those kind of issue at all. Until my second son is born, which is like six years apart from son1. Same attention, discipline, and values are implemented for the coming of son2. Until I've noticed that attention has been quite a big deal to my first son. It seems that he's more reluctant to talk if son2 is around. You can feel that he's a bit hesitant in communicating with us if it includes his youngest brother. It show that he's more likely to talk if we are only dealing with him. This kind of reaction and attention by son1 are only "exclusive" with son2 alone and not to my two daughters, in all cases he's okay with all sorts of relationship, responsible in almost all the task that is given to him, he is even my right hand in some household chores and very good in dealing with his studies which makes my husband and I proud of him. It's only Attention that brought an issue for him even though my husband and I do a fair share on them. Bullying is one thing that he also does to son2. An act of irritation is also the word that he almost show to son2 almost everytime. This is one thing that breaks my heart in dealing with parenting issue. It's hard that I don't have a background in some sort of the situation on my siblings before just for better understanding. I remember once in the conversation of "which of your child gives a hard time in dealing with" was raised by a mom and known that "almost" answer on the survey was the second child. We don't even know if that is a "pecking order" thing. I just conclude now that eventhough you raised your child in the most positive manner and fair share, it does not provide you that this kind of problem will not rise.
I put it into writing so that I can help myself to understand the situation more and providing a different point of view from all of you for better understanding. I love my kids so much and it really breaks my heart as a mom to deal with this kind of issue. I hope I can patch this as early as possible while we are still in one roof, before they go elsewhere with the life of their choice. Do you also have issue of this kind? In your family, does this issue exist? Or are you into it? How do you deal with this in your own home, if there's any?
To all of you who reach reading this far, thank you very much!.